The Nightmares of an Insomniac

After seeing a movie and going for late-night food at a diner, my roommates and myself decided to talk until after 2am and share fun things we had found on the internet. Because our lower-level cave is significantly cooler than the main floor, we all sat in a row on the futon in our basement living room. We were excitedly discussing cakes and frosting when we all saw a creepy, long-legged thing (literally) run across the floor in front of us. Following the shrill screams from me and Jackie, we pleaded with Morgan (the self-appointed and fearless live-in spider killer) to kill it. Her complacency toward the situation just made things worse. Probably due to my ghost-white complexion and look of sheer terror, Morgan eventually caved and went hunting with my tennis shoe. But, to no avail. The creature sufficiently hid itself underneath our plethora of DVD's.

It took Jackie a while to calm me down. It helped to know that while venomous, these nasty creatures commonly called the House Centipede cannot penetrate human skin and primarily hunt spiders and other pesky insects. And they only come out at night. But it didn't help make me less paranoid. Jackie continued to spout the virtues of this insect until she ascended the stairs to go to bed and leave me in the basement, alone, with the hidden creature. I talked myself down off of my irrational cliff as I walked into my bathroom until I switched on the light and saw a big, black spider perched right in front of the toilet. That's when I realized that my irrational fear was in fact rational: bugs (both malignant and benign) are everywhere. 

So, here I am, after 3am, sitting on my bed, paranoid that I will see another creature of abnormal speed and proportions (for the record, I did kill the spider in the bathroom, thanks to the emotional support and encouragement from Jackie). How can I have creepy-crawly nightmares when I have yet to fall asleep?? And how can I fall asleep when I am having creepy-crawly nightmares?? I feel this is a vicious cycle. Moral of the story is that no matter how much I love talking to my wonderful roommates, I have to be in bed before midnight so I don't witness the nocturnal creepy-crawling of creatures doing their nightly rounds. 

*PS, I thought about attaching a photo of the bug I saw, but that meant that I would have to look at one, and I wasn't about to put myself through that kind of stress again right now. But if you are really that curious, just Google "House Centipede," and make sure you do it long before bedtime!

On a lighter note, one of the discoveries we made before getting interrupted by bugs is that Costco.com is selling a one-of-a-kind, internally flawless, clearly colorless, 6.2 carat diamond solitaire for 1 million dollars. Say What??!?!?? Yeah, that's right. (For those unfamiliar with this talk, I'm pretty sure a 6 carat stone would be much bigger than my finger!!) Talk about a rock!!! The (un)lucky recipient of that ring will have to do arm workouts for months before preparing her hand to flaunt that chunk of ice. Check out the crazy ring here. But good news; you'd save half a million dollars by buying it through Costco!

Sex on the Moon: A Book I Recommend

Before you think anything, it's not what you think. The book, Sex on the Moon by Ben Mezrich, is only 2% sex and 98% moon. But in our culture sex sells, and thus the title.

The book is the real-life narrative about Thad Roberts, the NASA intern who stole the moon. The story recounts Thad's life of overcoming familial and age-based obstacles to achieve his dream of working at NASA in hopes of being the first man to walk on Mars. Through reinventing his persona as as an audacious, reckless, and fearless co-op (NASA's name for the interns in their 3-year program), he impresses his peers by "breaking into" the space shuttle simulator and taking it for a spin. In the midst of getting high esteem from his professors, admiration and respect from his peers, and the silent treatment from his wife, who decided to stay behind in Utah, he was introduced to Dr. Everett Gibson and the Lunar Lab. After seeing some rock samples that were taken from the moon and the way Dr. Gibson talked about them as if they were trash, Thad began to fantasize what it might look like to "rescue them" and give the used lunar samples the respect and value they deserved. While mentally devising imaginary ways he could steal the samples, he involved Rebecca: his mistress and fellow co-op, Sandra: a flirty but platonic co-op, and Gordon: a guy he randomly met at the University of Utah, in his imaginary plan that quickly evolved into reality.

Meanwhile, Axel Emmerman, a Belgian rock collector, decides the email he got inquiring interest in buying Moon Rocks was not just a big joke, like the rest of his comrades in the small Belgian town of Antwerp. So, against the wishes of his wife, he got involved, contacted the FBI, and became his imagined super-hero, saving the world from a maniac criminal.

I really enjoyed this book. It has action, suspense, and I even learned a lot about science. It kept me captivated through every page as the story and history of Thad Roberts was built-up and as the heist took place. I won't spoil it for you, but instead, I encourage you to read the book about the "most audacious heist in history" for yourself. Plus the book is written by the same person who wrote The Accidental Billionaires which became the the Academy Award-Winning movie The Social Network. Based on his writing style and superior story-telling, this and the other works of Ben Mezrich's are now on my reading list.

I give Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History a 4.5 out of 5 stars. The missing half star is because the resolution, following the amazing and spell-binding climax (which is only the final 7% of the book according to my Kindle), is such an extreme fall from the heart-pounding previous pages. The book came to a full-circle ending, which I liked, but it was hard to keep my attention to get there. However, the remaining 93% of the book is well-worth it. The story is so well-written, detailed, and unlikely, that I had to remind myself it was true. And it seemed like I read half of the book within minutes, because the action flowed seamlessly, and my anticipation followed.

All in all, I highly recommend Sex on the Moon. And I'll let you figure out for yourself the clever way the aforementioned 2% fits into this true story.

The Mysterious Muffin Man Strikes Again!

The house was hushed in the early morning hours as dawn began to break, and the oven was set to 400 degrees. Flour and sugar dotted the counter as the faint scrape of the spoon against the glass bowl echoed through the kitchen. An hour and a half later, a variety of muffins were set on the table as they cooled. There could only be one explanation... THE MYSTERIOUS MUFFIN MAN STRUCK AGAIN!

For two of my roommates, today is the last first day of school. For one of my roommates, today is the first day of first grade (in case you're wondering, today is her first day as a student teacher). And because I am the bum in the basement who is unemployed and looking for a job, I wanted to serve my roommates and make them breakfast. But breakfast got a bit carried away and turned into three batches of mucho mouthwatering muffins! And the best part was that I uniquely invented each one. I loosely based the ingredients on my dad's muffin recipe that he stored in his head (until I asked him to write it down for me, and even that was pretty vague), and they came out pretty great! I used creative ingredients like packets of flavored instant oatmeal, Grape Nuts cereal, Craisins, and frozen berries. And they got rave reviews! If I still can't find a job that fits, maybe I can be a baker... Alas, if only I lived on Drury Lane...

Triple Berry Muffins, Apple Cinnamon Muffins, and Secret Muffins :)

You Know You're out of Shape When...

...You spend two hours on a Saturday watching your boyfriend load up his stuff onto a cart, wheel it out to your car, load it into your car, drive two blocks to his new apartment, you finally help to carry it up one flight of stairs, and you consider all that enough of a workout for the whole week. This happened the Saturday before last.

After evaluating my physical condition and mentality about the whole moving situation, I came to the conclusion that I am pathetic, and may be suffering a bit (or a lot) from laziness. So, to combat these diseases, I renewed my membership at the local gym (and by local, I mean it's literally next to my house. If I tried to drive, it would take 15 times longer to drive around the block, into the parking lot, and walk around to the other side of the building, which is in the direction of my house). I have been every day for the last four days, and I feel that my body is in the process of spontaneous combustion. My muscles are on fire!! But practice makes perfect, which doesn't really fit here, but I keep telling myself that anyway, and I've somehow stayed motivated. So hopefully by this time next week, I'll be in the swing of things and won't hurt so bad.

(You also know you're out of shape when you go to write a blog about being out of shape and you realize it's been a month since you last posted.... The adventures in my life lately have felt less than average, so I will do my best to have a more exciting life so I can write about it more often.)